lashing out

I have to be honest with my blog and face the fact that I am going through a "less than fabulous" patch of life right now.  It kind of strange, because I just went through a quite fabulous patch.  I was pleased with my recital and all the hard work I put into it.  I was feeling on top of the world.  Unfortunately, that feeling didn't last very long as life started crumbling around me only a few days later.  Anyway - I need not get into that right now.

I only came here to mention one of the annoying things about going through a rough spell.  And that thing is waterproof mascara.  I don't like the stuff.  It feels "different" when it's on, seems to build up on my eyelashes, and doesn't wash off easily. I don't like the feeling, or the extra step, of the special eye-makeup remover.  I want to wash my face the regular way and have all my makeup off.  But there are days when as much as I don't like the stuff, I thank God that I keep a tube in the back of the makeup drawer.  I recommend every gal keeps some of it around. You never know when you are going to need it and the last thing you want to do on that day is to take a trip to the beauty counter.  Oh, the waterproof mascara blues...

 I look forward to the morning when I have the courage to put on the regular mascara.  That day will come.  Until then I guess I'll count my blessings I don't have to look like a raccoon face by lunchtime.

Dawning of a Decade

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

...and Dad, and Ben, and Dave, and Adam, and Vanna White, and John Travolta, and even Yoko Ono.  What a day!

200!

PAR-TAY!! My blog is celebrating a milestone with this post.  This is the 200th post of it's life!  Yippee!!!  I've been in and out and up and down with the consistency of the blog, but I have now given people 200 opportunities to hear me ramble about something.  Isn't that terrific?  So if you find yourself complaining that I haven't posted often enough, go back and explore the past...surely you have forgotten something over the years.  Like when dad was in a hole and then they tore up the sidewalk, or how about the time I was waiting for the train, or that one time I had coffee,  and that other time I had coffee, or the time we REALLY had coffee.  And don't even get me started on the men... See?  A lot has gone on in my life over the past few years.  And plenty of coffee has been consumed in the meantime.  So sit back, enjoy, and here's to the next 200 cups.

Cheers!!!

A little o' this and that

This is just a random post that's not really about anything specific, but who cares.  Since a week ago I have felt like most of what I say is a random stream of stuff.  I've said the same thing to myself over and over and several people have heard the same thing too.  Most people also reply with the same stories, but for some reason I keep going round and round.  Each and every day.  The days almost blend together as one big day of 'keeping myself together' and grabbing the bull by the horns.

So this morning I felt like staying in bed, but I did that a little too long yesterday and as nice as I thought it would be, it got be nowhere...fast.  So this morning I rested a bit and then went straight to my bike.  Love that bike.  The sun was shining and the temperature in the mid 60's.  I crossed the street and found myself in Prospect Park, which I took a couple of spins around and it felt good.  At least it was my bike and body doing the spinning instead of only the thoughts inside my head.

The first half of the park is the most challenging from where I live.  There is a bit of a hill that is just gradual and long enough that I can't do my 'usual' hill treatment. (Stand up and RUN).  I actually have to work at it a bit...but that's good.  Gets the heart rate up.  Coming back down the hill on the other side is my favorite....especially at the hour I was out today.  As I coasted down the hill and felt the air blowing all around me I could see the lake to my left.  The sun shone on the water which glistened like diamonds winking at me.  Nice.  I had to loop around and do another round of the park just so I could see it again.  

What else... I did some grocery shopping... much needed.  Then I bought a mop because my apartment is dirty and getting on my nerves so I intend to clean.  I think the job requires something stronger than Swiffer, so I got a more 'serious' mop.  Hope I can get around to it, but I have a couple of performances this evening and will have to start getting ready for that before too long.  Something about a road being paved with good intentions....

One other thing.  How is Google so smart???  This new Google Instant search is unbelievable.  It can finish my sentences for me.  It knows what I am looking for before I know it.  For those situations of "Oh, I can't remember what it's called... I think it starts with a B".... Google can read my mind.  Amazing.  We don't even have to think these days.  Google will figure it all out.   I am sitting here listening to Pandora, which knows what I want to listen to, searching Google which knows what I want to find.  Life should always be this easy. 

Spun right round...like a record, baby

What is it they say about history?  History repeats itself?  Learn from the past?  I don't know.  I guess all of it sounds good.  I am about ready for history to stop repeating itself.  Sure, it's always a variation and slightly different...and so exciting! *eye roll*  But all in all, it's the same old thing.

I'm not going to say much more.  It's all been said before.  Here and here and you get the point here.

As much as I love making those cookies, I'd rather not have to post this again unless I am remembering the past...or enjoying my departure from the past...not to comment on the present.  :)  Is it possible to stop history from repeating itself or do I always need to keep those neon stirrup pants, hair crimper, and chunky boots in the closet for the next time they come around?  Vintage clothing is one thing.  Vintage problems... something else.  Enough!

Cheesiness

I am definitely a fan of cheese. Off hand, I don't think I've talked much about cheese on my blog, but it deserves a mention. I like cheese and crackers. I like cheese dip. Cheese added to pretty much anything makes it better.

Tonight I had no idea what to have for dinner. My in and out and rarely home lifestyle makes it hard to keep the fridge well-stocked. I cook when I can and then try hard to eat it and not let it go bad, but it's tough. Most of my cooking and food at home is done with great intention or else it will spoil. My freezer is full...the fridge...not so much.

So tonight I had a dilemma of what to eat. It was getting late and I didn't really have time to make something elaborate. I was about to pour a bowl of cereal (but the milk was frozen) when I looked through the shelves one more time to see if there was anything interesting I could do. I had two blocks of cheese from my enchiladas last week and some leftover tortillas so cheese quesadillas made all the sense in the world! No more than 4 minutes later - dinner is served!

I love that a cheese quesadilla is really just a grilled cheese sandwich using tortilla instead of bread. But doesn't it sound so much more exciting to make quesadillas than grilled cheese sandwiches? I think that's funny. It's kind of like the whole panini thing. A panini is just a grilled sandwich that is smashed, right? So a grilled cheese sandwich could actually be called a cheese panini. I guess it's all a matter of perspective. I'm sure there are other things that are not really that interesting until an interesting name tag is awarded. Hmmm.... Grilled cheese sandwich? Quesadilla? Cheese Panini? So many choices!

ZZZzzzz...

Bad news bears! I think I've developed an immunity to my favorite beverage and drug of choice - COFFEE!!! It seems that no matter how much I chug during the afternoon hours I just want to FALL ASLEEP. It's as if there is a magnet in my desk, pulling my head down, down...down...
This is not good! What can I do? Something stronger? Even more coffee? Go OFF of coffee for a week so it has an effect when I come back (oh how miserable that week would be and everyone would HATE being around me - and I would hate everyone and everything - bad idea). So what's a gal to do? Maybe I should give in and take a nap every afternoon! Those Spaniards are smart with their siestas. Yeah, I think that's the solution. Siesta. Think the boss will mind?

Food Psychology

Eggs. I've been thinking about writing about eggs for about a year now. And as I sit here, finishing off my dinner of a spinach feta cheese omelet, I think now is as good a time as ever to address the issue. The reason I was going to write about eggs a year ago is that a year and a few months ago I started eating them. For the 27 years before that, I wouldn't touch them. I couldn't. I tried several times throughout my life, but I just did not like anything about eggs. People thought I was nuts "how can you not eat eggs???". Of course I would eat them in a cake or if they are an ingredient to something bigger, but plain old eggs...couldn't do it.

Then a couple of years ago I decided that maybe taste was psychological and we could convince ourselves to like things. My two big things that I didn't eat my whole life were eggs and tomato (excluding pasta sauce, ketchup, etc.). I don't know why, but I never liked them. So I started with the tomato as my project. I don't remember how I tried it first, but maybe it was a little bit on a sandwich. OR possibly a Caprese Salad which is just tomato, fresh mozarella, and fresh basil drizzled with basamic vinager and olive oil. Now how could I possibly not like that? I loved the idea of it. I had to stick mostly with the out of season, dry, few-seed variety. Those fresh from the garden summer tomatoes must be great, but not for me. Slowly but surely, I included the tomato into my diet and lo and behold I started liking it. Instead of picking it off a sandwich, I would ask for it. I guess I aquired a taste. Success. Next.

Back to the egg. Again, I am a little unclear about the first steps. They definitely include the fact that I had some really cool devices to cook eggs in, such as Boiley. I had to eat eggs occasionally just so I could use this stuff. I also really wanted to like eggs because they are full of protein and I felt like my breakfasts usually wore off by the time I got out the door. Somewhere along the line I realized that if you scramble eggs up quite a bit and add a lot of good stuff to them- similar to that out of season tomato - they really don't have much taste. Enter the ham and Swiss cheese scrambled eggs. Not bad at all. THEN there was the NYC bacon egg and cheese sandwich. Similar to the Caprese Salad - there is no way that I couldn't go for that. The gooey cheese and crunchy bacon masked anything too 'eggy' for me. Toss that on a roll or everything bagel and you are good to go. Delicious. SO... I started going to the diner and trying things like omelettes (fully loaded) and found I could not only handle these guys, but I actually started liking them! So here I sit, eating them by choice.

There are rules and baby steps that I am taking with these foods. I am not going to run out and eat a soft cooked out of an egg cup. And my scramble/omelet needs to be pretty well done. I can't have it getting 'boogery' on me. I think after all this time it's about the texture. I grew up around the sunnysides and I'm really not excited to try them today. What's that gooey stuff running all over the plate? Dad says that's the best stuff and you soak it up with your biscuit, but I prefer my egg to soak itself up in the pan and my biscuit to soak up some gravy.

For now I am really kind of enjoying the egg experiment. Now that I know how I like to use them, it is fun to think up different things to put in my omelet. I'm actually getting really into the breakfast menus, never turning my back on the syrupy things, but taking a look at the world beyond them.

Breakfast in Jamaica includes eggs with toast and fresh fruit.

Special Delivery

Wait, wait, wait...have patience.... That's what us single ladies have to do. Always waiting for Mr. Right to come along. Well, today a major step was made. Something showed up that could have some major implications on life as I know it. See, the problem in the past is that I always had to wait and see what was given to me. I had no control. I could seek instruction and assistance from others, but didn't have the tools to make it happen on my own. Not having the mold for the perfect man I was left with little hope.... until today. Out of nowhere, he showed up. At my front door. I now can have the man of my dreams at my fingertips in a matter of minutes. This could be life changing. He has arrived...and just in time.

a touch of nostalgia

Recently, I downloaded Picasa and have been using it to organize and edit the photos on my computer. The way they are in the program, I can view my entire library and simply scroll down to see all of the pictures I have. Doing that is almost like taking a trip in a time machine, going back through the days, months, and years. Granted, I have only been using a digital camera for a little over four years and a lot of those pictures are no longer on my computer, but it is amazing to see everything that has taken place during that relatively short amount of time. I love to take pictures and I love to look back at them. One of my favorite things to do is to look back at pictures. I like to do that on the blog too... look back at old entries to remember what I was doing before...see where life has taken me.

In a way looking at the old pictures is sad because I am reminded of friends that I don't get to see very often and I remember friendships that are no longer there for whatever reason. Situations change - that is a part of life - but looking back at all the fun times makes me miss all of the friends and great times I have had. On the other hand, seeing the many "hats" I have worn, experiences I have had, places I have visited and great times I have had in the past four years makes me appreciate all of them and encourages me to be excited for the future, which will surely be filled with many more wonderful moments. I think we all struggle with appreciating and living the moment when we are in it. We take the small things for granted and don't always enjoy what we have now. When I look back, I see how beautiful life really is and although I know I can't go back and live those moments again I am warned to enjoy what I have now and to appreciate the people in my life today. Cherish the memories, enjoy today, and look forward to the future...